I have come to realize today that I believe we had I lived somewhere else growing up, I would be much less cynical. Most things I say, especially about this town are morbid, cynical or sarcastic, just because I'm so sick of living here. The hypocracy is starting to drive me crazy. I know there are good things about living here, there are some really good people, I love my friends to death, but they're not enough to hold me here, it's that unreasonable. Today especially I've been faced with all this stuff. The whole town is so political, you can't do anything out of the norm and still be an upstanding memeber of society. National Honor's Society was tonight, and there were people that I was inducted with that ruined it for me. I know they've smoked away all their brain cells, and it makes me feel like crap to be "honored" with them. NHS is a big joke in this town. I'm glad I got my cords, because if some of the people that had been inducted had them and I didn't I probably would have killed myself (figuratively of course).

And then there are the community scholarships. I tried for as many as I could, but the problem is, I'm not of the right family to win scholarships. I just found out the one scholarship I thought I had the best chance at because it's awarded in Math and Science this year is judeged by a woman who left our church angrily while my dad was president, so I'm basically screwed. This is the same lady who asked Wonder Woman who her parents were when she was dropping off her application for this scholarship, she told her and got a Minnesota dissaproving "Oh." We also had one where we wrote and essay on school spirit, and I wrote a load of crap, though not as good of a load of crap as Mahinda, I have to hand it to her, that's one of the best I've seen. Finally we come to the people who have the right last names but have drunk or smoked away the English portion of their brains, so their parents write their essays for them, and they win. Grr. Honesty doesn't pay, it's actually a really good way to get screwed over. Damn values.

Wonder Woman actually told me that she's been a lot less cynical since she started going to college, because every day she remembers that she's glad she's at college and in California, and she's genuinly happy there. I can't remember a time here waking up and being glad that I live here. Granted it's better than Chechnia or something like that, but I know there are so many much better places out there, that it's torture to be held back here. And really I think growing up here has stunted a lot of people's potentials, the school system is not what it should be, and the morals are even worse. And I'm done ranting, I hope you guys didn't read all this, I'm just venting my frusterations so I can sleep better tongiht, if you did read this all you deserve a hug, because I'm sure it wasn't fun. Love to all.